A Message from PJ

Hi,

I want to tell you a little bit about how I got to where I am now.

At the age of 18, I attended university to study Electrical and Electronic Engineering. After graduating, I worked in telecommunications for the next 10 years. This involved working outside with a small team replacing and upgrading old telegraph poles; and then working as network engineer/manager for a cable TV company (before the Internet really took off!).

I enjoyed the work but knew in the long run it wasn’t for me. I needed to get a fresh perspective. So, I decided to travel around the world. My first stop was Egypt then Australia, New Zealand, the Fiji Islands, the United States, and finally back to the UK. I distinctly remember arriving at Cairo airport. Only 8 hours previously, I was in a small village with a population of less that 400 people, and here I was in Cairo with a population of millions. What a culture shock – but what an education.

After returning from my travels I went back to working in telecommunications. But I knew immediately that I would not last. I’d always wanted to study archaeology, which is why I went to Egypt, so I decided to go back to university and study archaeology and ancient history. I still had a student loan to pay off from my first degree, so I got my head down and worked as many hours as I could to pay this off before I started my new career.

The decision to follow my passion was the best decision of my life. After the first year of study, it was clear that my ability lay in archaeology rather than ancient history. So, I focused solely on archaeology. You know when some things fall in to place – this was it for me. I completed my undergraduate finishing top of my class with a 1st Class honours, then an MA in Landscape Archaeology (again top of my class with distinction), and finally a PhD in Cultural Anthropology/Archaeology at the University of Cambridge.

If you’ve worked in academia, or any high-pressure environment, you’ll know that it is very easy to get overwhelmed by the pressure and politics, and easily dragged down by the relentless competitive nature of some colleagues. This happened to me. My passion for archaeology had not gone, but it was just impossible to enjoy my passion working in this environment. When you’re unhappy in your work everything else suffers. I needed again to get a fresh perspective. So, I took a step back.

This time I wasn’t searching for my passion but something else; although I didn’t know what. I trained as a TESOL (Teaching English as a Second Language) teacher and taught locally for a couple of years. I then spent some years working in travel and tourism, and even a cycling proficiency instructor. I’d entered a new stage of my life and was trying to navigate this but this time it was more difficult: I had a partner and young child.

I was feeling under significant pressure. The pressure this time was not coming from work but from the expectation of providing for my family and all that entails. There was a feeling that I was not enough, and I was not succeeding and adequately fulfilling my role as a father. Other dads were better than me. Along with this, there were close family bereavements. Put all these together and it was inevitable that something had to give – my health.

I was now in my 40s. I’d always enjoyed physical exercise but the stress was eating all my energy. When you’re stressed, tired, and depressed often the last thing you want to do is get out on your bike or down the gym. And the more stressed and depressed you get the less exercise you do and the worse your diet gets. Stress, bad diet, and little or no exercise is a perfect recipe for ill-health and an early grave. Something had to change.

A friend suggested I try yoga. Yep. I know. I knew nothing about yoga apart from that it involves stretching. I looked up some YouTube lessons and started doing 20 minutes twice a day, just simple stretching that anyone can do (they’re called sun salutations). I also changed my diet, adding more green veg, reducing processed foods and caffeine intake, and cutting out snacks. Within a couple of weeks I began to see a significant difference. My weight had dropped, energy levels had increased significantly, I was more relaxed, and – surprising to me – I was feeling more confident and a whole lot more positive about life in general. I continued doing the yoga stretches and actually went on to do a yoga teacher training course in Mysore, India. Another decision that had a dramatic and positive impact on my life.

Within yoga there is a thing called pranayama. Pranayama is a series of breathing exercises that instil different physical conditions in a person’s body. Generally, a person’s breath reflects their mental and physical state (e.g., stressed; short and shallow breathing). But this works both ways: you can use your breath to change your mental and physical state. Fast belly breathing can increase energy levels, and long slow breathing can reduce your heart rate, blood pressure, and stress and anxiety levels, as well as provide mental clarity.

For me, learning how to use my breath to create different physical and mental states was a game changer. By doing 15-minute breathing each day, I was able to reduce my stress and anxiety levels, get rid of brain fog, and relate to people in a much more balanced, positive, and friendly manner. I was happy. I was so impressed with the impact these breathing techniques had on my life that I went on to complete an advanced teacher training course in pranayama. I now practice pranayama breathing everyday.

It was through my own pranayama practice and associated experiences that brought me to build my own philosophy of life. Everyone needs a way to manage and exist in the world they live. You could call this a philosophy or world view. It’s nothing radical, weird, or revolutionary. It is simply that as humans we all have a divine Self (sometimes referred to as a soul/spirit etc) that exists in us and cannot be damaged or broken by the outside world. Often though, as we live out our daily lives we lose touch with this – we lose touch with who we are. Losing touch with ourselves brings a lack of confidence and self assurance, and with that comes stress and anxiety as we attempt to navigate a constantly changing world without first knowing who we are. No wonder we feel lost, broken, and often inadequate.

Building on this, my premise and point of departure for my coaching is that before we can effectively deal with the stresses of life, work and family etc, we need to take a step back, observe, and give ourselves space to understand ourselves. With a better understanding of ourselves, we can find our place in the world more easily and so move forward with confidence, clarity, and self assurance.

This pretty much brings me to where I am today. I am now happy, healthy and leading a fulfilling life. But this has only happed because I have been willing to make changes. There is one thing that will kill your dreams and that’s procrastination. I know I’ve been there. If you want change, you MUST change. Do something, however small that might be. If you don’t start, before you know it another year will have passed and the situation will be the same and you’ll feel worse because you have not been proactive.

Change provides a new perspective, and a new perspective provides new ideas, inspiration, opportunities, and connections. It allows you to view your situation more objectively and more clearly. When you are able to see more clearly you can set goals and take actions and decisions that fit with who you are and your overall life objectives. With this comes more confidence and happiness, and you’ll have more time for friends, family, and colleagues.

When your gut tells you something is up, then something is up and you need to change.

So, if you want change but you’re not quite sure how to make it happen, book a consultation and we can have a chat.

I look forward to speaking with.

PJ

P.S. By the way, when I was in my 20s and 30s I spent a long long time looking for the answer at the bottom of a beer glass – this nearly killed me. Take it from me and from my personal experience, the answers you are looking for will not be found there.